A Stranger

© T B Jackson

From the dawn of my time, I've always been an outsider,

A stranger in my own life.

I've had good times along the way,

Woven into constant despair.

But you don't understand,

Nor do you want to know.

You choose to ignore the truth,

And that I can't change.

Though I stand in front of you and call the shots,

Your words cut through me like a knife.

Inside, silently,

I bleed.

Though I tell the story of your life,

I have no happy ending.

All I can do is continue,

And walk this lonely road.

I've seen friends fall by the wayside,

Outsiders like me, too tired to continue,

Cutting the journey short.

A dark cloud descends.

There is no easy fix,

No way to bring and end to the relentless pain.

There is only hope for understanding and support.

That's just the way it is.

If you don't like what you see,

Look away,

Like so many before you.

I'll still be here.

I am,

I have been,

And always will be.

And I now know, I am not alone.

Star-Spangled Banner

© T B Jackson

I've heard national anthems sung so strong

With passion sourced from deep within

Performed before an opening bounce

Spurring on athletic grit

I've seen tears for patriotic hearts

As teams align before the flag

Exciting crowds to rise as one

And cheer their champions to victory

But while it seems the norm to some

To me it bleeds hypocrisy

Recited by overzealous fans

At times far less emotional

And only once have tears rolled down

My trembling cheeks and without shame

But not for patriotic want

For it wasn't even mine to give

It was when I heard her sing goodbye

The Star-Spangled Banner so proud and true

As you lay still we mourned as one

And bid farewell for ever more

The Time

© T B Jackson

If time was of your own

Where would you have it stall

How would you play it out

When would you make the call

If one moment could be frozen

For time and eternity

Like a billboard in the Cross

For all the world to see

What memory would you choose

To display above all else

One that has defined your life

Created love or wealth

I know that very moment

I know with whom it would be

For I know what shaped my life

It was when you first came to me

Only words

© T B Jackson

They're only words and flow with ease

Displayed for everyone to see

Descriptive terms, a passion shared

An open heart, a soul that's bared

They tell the tales of love and loss

Of passion and of paths once crossed

The true desires held deep inside

Revealed to all and opened wide

So tell me why, I can't explain

When by your side no words remain

They leave me like a summer breeze

I flounder, lost on weakened knees

They're only words, but can't be said

And so I write them down instead

In cryptic style and hope you see

And pray these words bring you to me

Harmony

© T B Jackson

Harmony is what I seek

In my heart and in my mind

But it's only for the mild and meek

Neither of which am I the kind

Like flowing darkness, deepest night

Time alone with idle thought

Creates desire for the right

But dispels all that I've been taught

Within my dreams I feel its touch

By light of day hope dissipates

On a precipice to life I clutch

And pray the pain will soon abate

But mine is not to be at one

It is to search with passing time

Continuing what was begun

To never rest and never find

Emptiness

© T. B. Jackson

I walk into an empty space

Void of all but air to breathe

Longing for companionship

But then fear soon outweighs the need

Fear of what I can't be sure

It permeates throughout my mind

Etched into my deepest thoughts

Stifling my heart's desires

It could be said I run from life

Or shy away from human touch

Buried in a lightless dream

Without hope and without love

And time is long, not so with life

But still no sign presents ahead

So as I wonder what could be

In loneliness my heart laments

Pictures of You

© T B Jackson

Ink on archival paper

Reveals a memory from the past

Like a dark and distant shadow

Across my mind it has been cast

It tells me of the fun we had

That will never be again

And despite the sadness that entails

Those memories remain

Physically I know that I will

Feel your touch no more

Emotionally you're always there

Knocking at the door

“Come in” I call, there's no reply

No matter how I pray

But still I ask for one more time

While staring at your face

All I have are pictures of you

To remind of those times

Images of memories

To last me all the while

Regrets

© T. B. Jackson

I was left without words when I saw you today

In silence I fell, my thoughts taken away

The sound of your voice, the glint in your eyes

I just wanted to hold you, to love you tonight

It's been far too long yet time has stood still

Like in exile alone on the edge of a hill

No rhyme and no reason can explain it to me

Why it is that a love that's so pure cannot be

You know of my feelings, the truth cannot hide

As sure as a cork bobs its way on the tide

And I run from your sight, I know not what to do

But I cannot erase what is is real, what is true

The only regret I will take to my grave

If I meet with my maker, if ever I'm saved

Will be never knowing just what might have been

Had I opened my heart and allowed you within

Short

© T. B. Jackson

If my contact seems to wane

Please don't hate me

If I fail to return your calls

Please don't berate me

It's not that I don't love you

You should know my love is true

I just need time alone to think

Time alone to work things through

Rising

© T. B. Jackson

The sun displays her orange yellow hues across the morning sky

As if on queue the fog begins to rise over the serenely quiet river

Swirling upwards, enveloping me with her stifling beauty

Until all I can feel, all I can taste, is her sweet refreshing touch

Soothing and clearing my innermost thoughts and desires

And then, once more on queue, begins to disperse

Ever so slowly, at first,

Quickening until all that’s left is a memory of something that was,

But is no more.

The Dream

© T. B. Jackson

You didn't care that I could see

You glanced and then continued on

Not worrying of what might be

Or what it was that you'd become

Respect had drawn another bow

No real thought for love, just need

You know you reap just what you sow

Returns untold from tiny seed

As I approached and tried to ask

You turned and ran, too scared to speak

Unable to complete your task

You fell to ground, your knees turned weak

And then the blame you tried to lay

But it was you, you can't deny

You gave yourself, your love away

No hesitation, reason why

And I wonder if you understand

Just how much love for you is near

Though you may feel a lonely hand

To us your heart we hold so dear

The road

© T. B. Jackson

I've been driving down this winding road

No destination set in stone

Aimless wandering, so it seems

To somewhere, nowhere, in between

Each day I cover further miles

And each one leads into the night

As darkness falls I still push on

Sometimes until the rising sun

And then I sleep for half a wink

But when I wake I hardly blink

Before I hit the road again

Just like a circle, there is no end

But what else is there to be done

To stagnate here would be no fun

Adventure is the only way

From day to night, from night to day

Cycles

© T. B. Jackson

Life and nature sing their songs

Their stories somehow intertwine

A cryptic mix of where we are

A glimpse inside our deep desires

A month ago I hid from sun

Now I seek it's warmth each day

A week ago I yearned for you

Now I avoid you like the plague

It's not that I no longer care

Nor that I have no love for you

But like a season on the change

One ends, another starts a-new

And this is life, it just goes on

As summer turns to autumn gold

And when new growth begins to sprout

I'll seek another's heart to hold

And though we may no longer be

As sunshine in the early morn

What we've had and where we've been

Will guide us through the winter long

As Mother Nature's cycle turns

When spring arrives I'm sure you'll see

When the beauty of the world is born

There'll be a time for you and me

I Could

 

© T. B. Jackson

If I told you I loved you,
if I asked you stay

Would you come to my rescue,
chase my demons away

Would you lay in my bed,
on a cold winter's night

Would you hold me so close,
would you hold me so tight

Would you give up your world,
just to be there with me

Forsake family and friends,
do whatever it needs

And could you do it for life,
not a portion of time

For the rest of existence,
could you really be mine?

I could for you.

Heaven on Hog

-->

© T. B. Jackson

Wrap me up in leather

Sit me on a solo seat

Point my toes towards that old black snake

And in heaven I will be

Let me eat away the miles

With a rhythmic throbbing beat

From a V-Twin mill between my legs

Open pipes behind my feet

And I'll knock it back a number

Crank the gas and hear the roar

Just like the screaming of an eagle

Majestically I'll soar

And while it may not be enough for some

It's really all I need

To feel the wind blow in my face

On a classic iron steed

Abuse

© T. B. Jackson

She sits alone and contemplates the meaning of her life
What it is to live and love, to be another's wife
She watches as the seconds, like drips from a tap pass by
She questions her existence and asks the question why

She knows that soon he will return and and she will find herself again
Defending her mortality, the love, the hate, the pain
And like a child born into slavery she feels there is no way
She ever will taste of freedom in this life she lives each day

The footsteps on the porch outside signify the time
He's home, he's drunk there's no escape, no reason and no rhyme
And the darkness soon descends as do the storm-clouds from above
And now it's time to face it as he deals out his form of love

In the morning she awakes, her reflection is quite grim
In the filtered bathroom light she sees the legacy of him
And like a circus clown she paints away the fear and all the hate
The tears flow down her cheeks and she accepts what is her fate

And she'll never leave, she can't see how, she has nowhere to go
She just continues on each day, with the twisted ebb and flow
She's trapped within his evil web on this roller-coaster ride
With nowhere left to run, and nowhere left to hide

One day she says she'll disappear but she knows it is a lie
She knows she will be trapped within until the day she dies
But she yearns for peace and harmony like a bird upon the wing
The chance to laugh, the chance to love, the chance to dance and sing

But time is passing by, each day he tightens up his grasp
Each day she stays, procrastinates, and hopes the pain will pass
She's praying for a hero to come and save her from her foe
But heroes are of fairy-tales, the like she'll never know